Milan - homeward - June 23-24 2022
There used to be a commercial for a now defunct airline and the tag line was “Getting there is half the fun!” I now know why they are defunct!
After a lovely breakfast at the hotel in Torino, we packed up the car for the trip to Malpensa Airport. As a brief aside, I must say that Kent is perhaps the world's best loadmaster. We had a medium sized SUV for the trip but they were coming off a cruise and had four good-sized suitcases, a backpack and another small bag. Cindy and I each had one suitcase and a smaller bag. Somehow Kent got all of them in the back of the car and still gave me a ‘window’ so that I could see out of the rear view mirror. We entered our new address into the GPS and headed out following the directions that Nanny (she had a British accent so we called her Nanny) provided. I had guessed it would take us ten to fifteen minutes to get to the toll road to Milan; I guessed incorrectly! We crossed the Po river six times - how is that even possible? We were directed though the downtown, near a cemetery, around malls and through neighborhoods, and almost all of the roads were single lane. It was a thirty minute maze and I think I almost burned out the clutch, but finally we found the highway we needed and we were off.
We had planned to stop at a gas station to fill up and have a coffee and toilet break, but that didn’t happen. All of a sudden we were at the hotel at Malpensa with a half empty tank. We unloaded the luggage, used the toilets, and then Kent, Valley and Cindy went to the room while I got back in the car in search of a gas station, which I found after about fifteen minutes. Filled up the tank with the most expensive fuel we had seen on the trip and dropped off the car at the Avis lot. Found Cindy, and while Kent and Valley were figuring out their tickets at BA, we had a coffee at a little shop next to the hotel.
The airport was a zoo! There were lines of hundreds of people trying to purchase train tickets to downtown Milan. All of the US flights seemed to have landed at once and the mostly young Americans were struggling with European efficiency. I stood in line for our coffee and ahead of me where two American couples in their early twenties. There was no concession to language or custom, they just acted like they were at Starbucks in America and in loud voices and in English, shouted out their orders. I knew then that the vacation was over and we were no longer really in Italy.
We met Kent and Val after they had sorted out their flights and had a quick sandwich and Prosecco before retiring for naps - well, the old folks napped while the kids wandered through the airport. We had adjoining rooms and met in their room for drinks around six. We were staying at the Sheraton right at the airport and I had booked two Executive Rooms with access to an Executive Lounge. The lounge was of course closed so instead they simply told us that everything in the mini-bar was free to us and that we would get a 40% discount and free drink at the restaurant, in addition to a free breakfast the next morning. I had never heard of such a thing but it was most appreciated as we raided the mini-bar for our cocktail hour. Good thing we weren't looking for hard liquor; the only offering was a miniature bottle of vodka. The half-bottles of Prosecco and wine were nice touches, however.
We were looking forward to our dinner since Cindy and I have eaten well at that restaurant and with a 40% discount it would make the meal that much more enjoyable. Again, it was not to be. Seems the hotel is short staffed and doesn’t have a chef so the menu was extremely limited. Two appetizers, two pastas and a hamburger were the only offerings - in Italy!! Service was non-existent, food was basic and unappealing and the glasses of wine, when they came, were dull and not nearly cold enough. At one point they served Valley a glass of water in a wine glass!! Needless to say, it was not the ending we had hoped for but we laughed it off and polished off the rest of the mini-bar before bed.
The trip home was mostly tolerable. I’m told I’ve developed something called patience! There were huge crowds of people traveling since it was the start of the weekend and everyone wants to travel after Covid. We flew to Paris mid-morning and then had to take the long walk from Domestic to International, which is normally about 30 minutes. Due to the huge volume of travelers it took closer to an hour to get to our terminal. We had about thirty minutes in the lounge and then boarded our flight to IAD. Air France continues to offer an excellent product and our food, wine and service were spectacular. The new business seats offer lots of privacy and space so we were happy campers for the eight and a half hour trip.
International arrivals at IAD have always been a pain in the butt. You have to depart the plane and walk in a secured area to a People Mover that they have been using since 1965. Then you are driven to the Immigration Hall and dumped into the lines from hell. We have Global Entry so we were done quickly, but the lines for non-USA and for those without Global Entry were huge. Hundreds and hundreds of people queued up for more than two hours. Of course, if the folks can’t get though Immigration quickly the luggage piles up and it was all over the floor next to the carousels, which were all stopped since they had no place for the luggage to go. Two men tried to clear luggage as fast as possible but it took another thirty minutes for us to get our “priority” bags. Another twenty minutes for a taxi and we were finally off on the home stretch.
I simply can’t understand how an airport can be run so inefficiently. Immigration knows exactly how many people will be coming and when - they know that before the flights even leave Europe - and yet they are totally unprepared to handle the crowds. What a horrible first impression of the USA to present to visitors.