Porthole to Penthouse

 After living in Europe for four years we decided to take a cruise to the States instead of flying.  We had never been on a cruise and Cunard was offering what they called the Golden Ticket, a deeply discounted fare for those with military ID’s which we had by virtue of our teaching for the military. You were guaranteed an outside cabin which would be assigned when you checked in at Southampton.

We flew to London, took a bus to Southampton docks and found our way to the QE2, the only ship in port that day.  We were struck by the size of this ship and very excited to be taking a six day crossing. I had been on a cruise ship before as a child visit an aunt who was sailing from New York on a world cruise. We had been invited to her Bon Voyage Party and we were smartly dressed and sparking clean. I didn’t get to see the ship from a distance but remember getting on the vessel and being amazed that there were elevators on a ship. Her cabin had a sitting room and there were servers dispensing Champagne and soft drinks and canapés (didn’t know what they were then but they were tasty). I do remember them saying “All ashore going ashore” and the party was over!  We stood on the dock with streamers to throw as the ship slipped out of her dock. With that memory fresh in my mind, we were shown to our cabin on the QE2.

The first thing I noticed was that we did NOT have a sitting room adjacent to our bedroom. What we had was a room that looked more like a couchette on a train. Two beds in an L shape, a small table and two small chairs and a very small bathroom. The only way we knew we had an outside cabin was by going over to the small porthole and looking out at the water, which was only a few feet down. There was enough closet space for our formal and regular clothes and soon we were out and about in the public areas. I was amazed at the grand staircases, library, bars and restaurants, all Art Deco and polished brass. I even marveled once again at the elevators, grand old wooden masterpieces with lots of carved detail.

In those days you dressed for dinner every night, some men wore tuxedos to every dinner but most wore suits and ties and the women were simply elegant.  There were two seatings in the main dining room; we chose the late seating at 8:30 and we were shown to the table that we would have for the entire cruise. It was a table for six and the other guests were already there when we arrived that first evening (come to think of it, we arrived last every evening). We were by far the youngest couple!  Introductions were made and menus presented. The eldest couple was from North Carolina, lovely folks who had interesting stories and seemed interested in us. The other couple was from New York City, not so nice. The woman would order appetizers, eat half and send it back and order another. She did this with every course at every dinner, a very nasty piece of work and they showed no interest in anyone else at the table. I remember the food was glorious and so many choices and the wines were available by the glass or bottle at reasonable prices. After dinner we found the grand ballroom and danced for a few hours before hitting the narrow beds for a much deserved rest. 

The next day Cindy said I was like a caged tiger; I just kept moving all around the ship to see where things were and to experience everything. By day three I had settled into a routine. I would wake up just in time for the last serving at breakfast, order a lamb chop and roasted tomato, go back to bed for awhile, walk the decks until a pre-lunch cocktail, eat lunch, walk, sleep on a deck chair until tea was served, walk, dress for dinner, cocktails, dinner, dancing, repeat for four more days. In those days a crossing was only six days but shortly thereafter they made the crossing seven days, which is far more civil.

On the last evening of the cruise the older couple from North Carolina invited us to their cabin for a drink. We didn’t thing they drank since they never ordered anything at dinner. Turns out they had a full bar in their cabin and we had a lovely pre-dinner cocktail party. We were only four for dinner that night. Turns out on the last night of the cruise you would give envelopes of money to your waitstaff and the New Yorkers, who taxed the staff to the max, ate in their room to avoid tipping!  When we returned to our cabin after dancing all night there was a rather thick envelope under our door. It was our bar bill!! It was to become a standard feature of our cruising, the bar bill was always larger than the price of the cruise.

So here we are twenty-eight cruises later sitting in a Penthouse Suite on the Queen Elizabeth from Southampton to Ft. Lauderdale. We have sailed on a variety of ships in a variety of locations and almost always had a marvelous time since it is the one time we can dance every night.  We discovered all-inclusive cruises in 2004 and that has been the bulk of our cruises since then. It is so freeing to have paid everything upfront and not have to deal with signing for drinks or special dinners and never worrying about what might be slipped under our door on the last night of the cruise.

Bits and Bobs

 The Queen Elizabeth was launched in 2010, just before many major changes to technology.  There isn’t a single USB port to be found on the ship. If you remembered to bring your 2010 Apple iPOD, you would be able to place it in the Bose Speaker - however that is the only device that fits! We have a Penthouse Suite and it is so poorly designed that much of the space is wasted. While I enjoy physical contact with Cindy whenever I can get it, it isn’t as much fun when we are trying to get dressed and we have to be in the same place at the same time. As Cindy always says whomever designs cabins or hotel rooms should be forced to live in that space for a week, then they can start over and get it right. We have a very large balcony with two cushioned chaise lounges but no chairs or table. We have ample room for the additional furniture - and other balconies have them - but the designers must have thought lounging was more important than eating or drinking on the balcony.

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The food for the most part is meh! The Queen’s Grill is supposed to be the epitome of fine dining on the high seas, order what you want, when you want it and no request is too over the top. And yet it still seems to come out the same kitchen as the main restaurants. On five occasions we have had to send food back or simply not eat it. For example, you would think that the Brits could do venison well, but mine, despite my request for rare came out over cooked and tough. The maitre’d came to our table on the first night to see if we had any allergies or requests for food such as salt free or no oil, etc. We said we just didn’t want any raw onions on any of our dishes, a request we make on every cruise. Five times in four days we have either had to scrape off the onion or return the dish for another. Now I know these are first world problems, but when you are willing to pay the going rate for a service, you have every right to expect what was promised.

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Being sick on a holiday is never any fun, especially when you are cruising and they are checking for Covid. Cindy developed a cough on the second day in Southampton. Cindy is SUPER cautious about Covid and how she could get the flu or a cold amazed us, but she did and therefore a few days later so did I. We were very relieved to find out that we did not have Covid after our tests came back from the cruise test site but we were hacking and coughing and just generally miserable. We skipped dinner on the third night since I had a temp of 102.6.  At six pm I put on a long sleeved tee, sweatpants, heavy wool socks and I drank a lot of water with the meds that Dr. Emmans provided. I pulled the covers up to my chin and started what in my family is called the Byxbee Sweat Tent. It starts with shivering like you are possessed and then the sweat starts and by eleven pm my pillow was soaked and I had to get up and change into dry clothes. Cindy administered more meds and I was out for the count for eight hours with just one more interruption for a change of clothes. The next morning the fever had broken and I was down to 99.8. Cindy collected all my damp clothes from overnight, had me take off the latest ones, put them all in a basket and did laundry at 7:30 in the morning!  No greater love!  We are both still weak, we cough far less and my fever is gone.  Yesterday we had to be tested again for Covid and we would hear announcements from staff asking certain people to return to their rooms and call the Purser, which meant they had tested positive and were going to be placed in quarantine.  Now that would have been a real bummer.

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I was sitting in a lounge enjoying an ice cold Prosecco when I overheard a conversation between a woman from New Jersey and a husband and wife from England. It was truly amazing to hear these folks speaking over one another to make sure they established who had travelled more!  From what I heard they were all very well traveled but the ferocity of the conversation indicated that there was some real competition, especially on the part of the woman from Jersey.  What was really interesting is how they all agreed that there is a lot of funny food around the world. Jersey still can’t get over having eaten reindeer in Norway since she thought it was filet mignon and really didn’t like it once she knew it was reindeer. She also can’t understand people that eat garlic, escargot, frogs’ legs and other organs that they eat in France.  So well traveled and yet so isolated.

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Another incident marred our excellent cruising plans:  As many of you know, we cruise to dance.  Well, wouldn’t you know, on the very first evening we were on the dance floor and I twirled Cindy and she kept twirling right down to the floor.  Her left wrist/ forearm was badly bruised so we hustled back to our cabin and I iced it for her and put her feet up and calmed her down because she went into shock for a bit. Needless to say, no dancing for a few days!

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Never come between a Brit and his/her cream tea!  Cream Tea is served every day at 3pm sharp. You can have it all over the ship but the prime venue is the Queen’s Room which fills up at 2:45. It would fill up sooner except for the concerts that are scheduled there until 2:30 and they need a few minutes to set up. They have to place notices in the daily schedule saying that you can’t save seats. It appears that groups would leave totes, hats, bags, etc. on chairs so as to “reserve” them for tea.  This “saving space” thing spills out into other areas and venues all over the ship. There are no fewer than twelve quiz events during the day, and sometimes hours before they begin the room is filled with those wanting the best tables, which all seem the same to us.  We enjoy a morning espresso in the Garden Lounge and usually get there by 9 am and it is empty.  Yesterday we arrived at 10:00 and could not find a place to sit since the first quiz of the morning was getting started at 10:15!

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Which brings me to another quirk about this ship. Most of the food is free so mealtimes are usually quite busy. However if you want a special hot beverage like espresso, lattes, etc. there is a charge. Places like the Garden Lounge serve excellent coffees and special teas but 95% of everyone seating there orders nothing, many opting to bring their own water from their cabin.  Bars are not particularly crowded since drinks cost extra. Due to Covid you can no longer sit at any of the bars so you have to find a chair and wait to be served, which can be awhile even without crowds.

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The weather continues to be dreadful. Cold, rainy, grey, not at all like our crossing when we took the southern route.  It is starting to take a toll on the passengers who continue to wear shorts and tee shirts from morning to night since they thought they were going on a warm weather cruise. All of the outside decks have been closed despite the promenade deck being undercover. Today when Cindy asked why she was told it was too windy. When she told them there was no wind today, just fog, they said they would pass that information on! Everything is still closed!

Last Days in Southampton

 The final two days in Southampton were fraught with mixed emotions. On the one hand we were looking forward to getting onto the ship and head home. On the other was anxiety about testing positive for covid.  The chance of being denied boarding was quite stressful, especially since Cindy had developed a horrible cough and a chest filled with mucous.  We were reasonably sure it was just a bad cold but in the time of covid you second guess yourself.  We visited a Boots pharmacy and got everything we thought we would need to fight the cold and congestion, wanting to make sure she wasn’t coughing while being tested.  

Our friend Robert, with whom we have sailed twice on Silversea and who lives just outside of London, made arrangements to pick us up on Sunday to take us to a swank country inn deep in the New Forest, which is the oldest forest in England.  Chewton Glen is an old, old manor house that has a magnificent restaurant.  The food and drink were as elegant as the surroundings and we had a wonderful time catching up with Robert and planning future cruises.

We got home in time for Cindy to have a little rest and then went for a short walk. We had a sandwich in the hotel restaurant since we were still full from lunch and made it a short night.  Cindy had a horrible time trying to sleep and was coughing uncontrollably for much of the night. We got more drugs when the pharmacy opened the next morning and began the process of packing up and moving to the Queen Elizabeth which we could see across the harbor from our window.

Since we are in luxe accommodations we were pleased to see that we had an embarkation time of noon, long before most could check in.  We had thought there would be a separate area for Queen’s Grill passengers to expedite our boarding, nothing could have been further from the truth! The ship holds about 2092 passengers and two thirds of them were already lined up for our covid test. It took 90 minutes to get to the testing tent and a further forty minutes to get the test and wait for the results. It was the most disorganized process you can imagine made more maddening by the fact that everyone was so close together. We finally were told that we test negative for covid; how can two negative be so positive?!  We were greatly relieved to be cleared to get on the ship. Had one or both of us tested positive it would have been a fabulously expensive trip home.

Once on board I was standing on the balcony and noticed a forklift with a huge metal basket taking luggage off the ship. We were told that forty passengers tested positive and they were denied boarding and had to wait for three hours retrieve their luggage!  Yep, they load all the luggage before anyone is tested! Everyone felt horrible for these people but everyone was warned about the consequences of a positive test.

We dumped our luggage and I ran to the Queen’s Grill which was closing in twenty minutes. Cindy, bless her pea picking heart, stayed back to get a nine-day load of laundry started. By the time she arrived at the table I had a cold glass of Prosecco waiting as a reward for her efforts.

We had a lovely dinner at 8:30 and repaired to the ballroom for our first dance of the trip, convinced that all the bad stuff was behind us and smooth sailing lay ahead.  When the Embees plan, God laughs. Somehow on our second dance I was twirling Cindy and her hand slipped out of mine and she was down on the floor and hurt her wrist quite badly. We went to our room but I first got a big bucket of ice and we iced her wrist for an hour. More meds, for the cold and now for the pain and she was finally able to sleep for the night.  It is ironic that we should have a dancing accident on the first day of the cruise. Since before the pandemic we have been dancing almost every night for ten minutes before cocktails and never had an issue. 

 Today we are staying in the suite and tomorrow in Vigo Spain I’ll get Cindy more meds and ace bandages.

British Style-NOT

 For family only - I decided this was too snarky otherwise!

The last real British Style was in the mid-Sixties when Carnaby Street held fashion sense over the world.  Today, not so much. In our three days here in Southampton we have seen some pretty hideously dressed Brits. Perhaps they are all dressing down for the long holiday weekend, but methinks this is a permanent mindset of style. In a restaurant last night we saw the complete mix of styles.  Overweight men wearing shorts, sandals with socks, and shirts that perhaps fit them five years ago. There was a trio of young women that were actually dressed up but still looked like five-dollar hookers in heels. One of them, the largest, had on what I can only call a peek-a-boo dress whose sides were cut out to revel her love-handles and her ample bosom was spilling out of the low-cut top. It was so distracting that you could almost miss the tattoos that seemed to be everywhere on her torso.  The three of them walked in as though they were teenagers wearing heels for the first time. 

There seems to be no end to the concept of dressing for comfort, which when done well is a great idea. However we have surmised that since Brexit took place it is impossible for the Brits to import mirrors thus accounting for how they leave their homes looking like either slobs, tramps or wannabe porn stars.

The only time we saw any real sense of style was last night as we returned to our hotel. We could not help but notice the two women outside the hotel waiting for a taxi. They were impeccably dressed in beautifully tailored dresses with matching bags and shoes, perfectly coiffed and makeup that was elegant. Their posture was perfect and they actually looked comfortable and natural in their heels. It wasn’t until we were a bit closer and heard them talking that we realized they were transvestites!  I think that sums things up nicely!

A Tale of Two Cities

 Our time in Nice was far too short but long enough for us to reconnect with some friends and discover that despite your best efforts, you can still eat poorly in France.  Arriving late in Nice we postponed unpacking and headed directly to our favorite Brassiere to greet the owners whom we have known since they bought the place ten years ago. It was a lovely reunion cut short by closing time, which for them is 8 pm. 

Exhausted and hungry after our long day of flying we roamed the 'hood looking for a place to eat and ended up in an Italian restaurant we have frequented on previous visits. (Italian restaurants and cafes are everywhere in Nice due to the fact that Italy is a short drive up the coast.) Our shared salad was divine and simple, fresh avocado, fresh tomato and arugula, dressed lightly so that the vegetables spoke for themselves.  Our next course was an Alsatian Tarte Flambé, which is a simple pizza crust topped with caramelized onions, lardons (bacon chunks), and crême fraîche. Unfortunately, it was not served piping hot and suffered from this omission. However the wine was cold and crisp and we carried on. 

After a deep and comfortable sleep we hit the pavement the next morning, Cindy running and me walking along the Promenade. The sea was deep blue and you could not tell where it started and the sky ended, a totally marvelous way to start our brief holiday in Nice. We had breakfast on our balcony before taking another long walk along the coast, ending at a favorite bakery where we purchased a chicken and cheese sandwich to eat on the balcony before our nap. 

That night we met Cindy’s tutor with whom she has been studying French for many months via FaceTime. She is a charming young women who we had met briefly last November. We met in another Italian restaurant close to her office and had a delightful dinner conversation, mostly in French, some bits of Italian and once in awhile they would throw me an English bone. While we loved the evening we didn’t think that the food was as good as we remembered. They were still serving their winter menu and it was OLD!  So chalk up two dinners that were not up to snuff.

Wednesday was another late morning of walking and running followed by a light breakfast on the terrace of the hotel overlooking the sea. We then went on a three hour walk through sculpture gardens, all around the old port, and back along the coast. Walking in Nice is just magnificent, not only along the Promenade but also through the regular streets and gardens. We were whipped but hungry so we stopped for a drink at this magnificent old restaurant, Le Grand Café de France.  All art deco, very stylish, and we were smartly attended by a waiter in a perfectly tailored black suit. He convinced us to stay for lunch on the second floor terrace which was away from the noise and hustle of the main pedestrian street. Cindy ordered well (delicious gravlax), but I ordered poorly and ended up having the worst mussels ever.  I only ate a few of them since they were old and smelly but the waitress didn’t seem to care a bit. We departed with disappointment!

Our hotel had offered us a rather large credit from an incident during a previous stay so we decided to have our last meal for this visit at their rather well regarded restaurant. Cindy’s meal was beautiful to look at and her accompanying vegetables were worthy of praise but her tuna was overcooked to the point of being impossible to eat. My lamb was heavenly and we ended up sharing it so that Cindy had something to eat; it also should be noted that my vegetables were stellar. The waitress finally came over and was distressed that the fish was bad and offered a replacement, but we were done with dinner and instead accepted her offer of desserts, which were decadently delicious.

We were not looking forward to our four days in Southampton for lots of reasons, not the least was the well deserved reputation for utter indifference to cuisine.  I'm happy to report that we were dead wrong and we've had some of the best food in recent memory right here in jolly old England.  The first night was tried a Spanish tapas restaurant that is apparently keeping the garlic trade afloat - every mouthful included cooked or raw garlic and every mouthful was delicious.  The pan-fried eggplant with a drizzle of honey was the winner with the octopus Gallego (steamed with potatoes) a close second.  We decided we needed a little bread and that turned out to be lightly grilled and swimming in oil and garlic.  Lip-smacking good!

On the way back to the hotel we stopped at an Italian restaurant to reserve for the next night - it's a bank holiday here in England and the restaurants were full in the evenings - and that meal was also wonderful.  Poached scallops on top of peas and chopped bacon; asparagus soup; hake on a bed of tortelloni; and a whole plaice served on sweet red peppers and broccolini. I am usually not willing to tackle a whole fish given that bones are likely to appear (in my mouth) but this one was worth it.  And of course we had dessert ... once we get going we don't stop ... lemon panna cotta with blueberries.  The real pièce de resistance was stopping at the bar for a small Italian brandy before leaving ... they had my favorite Vecchia Romagna and we each got one.  Unfortunately Italian traditions do not extend to the bar and we got the tiniest little slurp of brandy you can imagine - for 12 pounds 50!  That's about $16, so our nightcap for two came to $32.  Had it been a decent amount it wouldn't have been so shocking.  

The restaurants in both cities had one thing in common:  They were not loud and you could have a normal conversation across the table. That changed last night!  Since it is a long holiday there are tons of tourists in town and all the restaurants were booked last night.  We finally found a Turkish restaurant that reserved a table for us at 7:30. Upon arrival the first thing we noticed was the NOISE.  The space was cavernous and completely filled with loud, loud, loud people, all competing with the DJ who was blasting tunes from huge speakers around the room. There were clumps of tables of bachelor and bachelorette parties, usually eight or more at a table and all of them stinking drunk and shouting at the tops of their voices. At the end of the meal it took us awhile to get our normal hearing back; it was that loud! But the food was good. 

One more day in Southampton and then onto the Queen Elisabeth tomorrow (Monday) at noon.  Can't wait.  

Best to all, Cindy and Wm